Oh, to be 21 again

Today is B's 21st anniversary of the day she emerged from her mothers womb. We started the day right by snorting a couple powdered, jelly filled, donuts at Safeway. As we were inhaling our donut we got quite a show. There was a African American mother and her 2 kids. one of the kids was bouncing a ball over and over again. The mother turns around and says, "let me see that for a minute", in a sweet voice. The boy hands his ball to his mother, and she chucks it hard out the front of the store into the parking lot. It was EPIC. This is why I love black people, they know how to raise their children right!

Our group of friends met at my cousins for B's birthday cake/pie. And as everyone knows its tradition to get a spank for every year alive. I thought I would get the honor of doing the spanking, but my dear friend Shane took charge and spanked with the strength and power of He-Man! As B doubled over with her buttocks on fire she says, "I was expecting spanks like sweet butterfly kisses from Amy" Is this a compliment to my long, strong eyelashes, or an insult to my lack of arm muscle?

After permanently damaging B's bum, we all headed to The Big Bang, a bar with dueling pianos, to permanently damage B's dignity. B was asked on stage and humiliated with a very sexual birthday song and promptly given a free shot of tequila, which she gave to a couple of guys at the table behind us. We bar hopped over to Fat Tuesdays for more belittlement and the ancient Japanese art of karaoke. Here B was given more spankings, a lap dance, and epically failed at singing .

It was her best Birthday ever